I will miss you.

I used to see you everyday.

Every single day – You and me.

You used to teach me right from wrong

Tell me how to play by the rules

But now you’re gone.

Harboring a new horizon.

I will miss you my love.

I will miss you like hell.

You never knew how much you meant to me

How much I valued you

I thank you for all the wisdom and help

I hope one day our paths cross again

I will miss you like hell.

Bird Watching

birds

Every morning these pack of birds, and I’m sure it’s the same pack of birds, fly over my house. It can be a soothing experience to watch them fly.  They are mostly pigeons but at times there are huge vultures and eagles flying on their own.

They use/harbor the buildings and trees as their nesting grounds. As you can observe there are many birds sitting on top of the apartment packed together.

I always wondered why birds fly together in flocks? Research suggests its because of safety and protection. They flock together to prevent harm and for support.

If only humans were that collaborative.

Bellow My Grief

This poem is in response to the short story called Misery by Anton Chekhov 

“To Whom Shall I Tell My Grief?”

Sorrow shimmers through his body

His son – his little baby calf – dead!

oh! What agony!

To lose a loved one is to repent a lifetime

If only someone would hear him bawl

Listen vehemently to his grief – his distress – his pain.

He would cry to the world

Curse at the cosmos

To acquire the wishful years lost;

For his only son to reappear in his arms again.

R.I.P – Kuzma Ionitch

American Beauty – A memorable quote

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain

You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.

Deception Is Hell

Here they appear again

the demons, they envelop the brain

Confusing any ounce of sanity that used to be naturally present

Distortions of visual images

Distortions of sound vibrations in the air

oh, hell!

If there’s such a thing as hell

it needs to be this

A deception of the real world

A blockage to function

Unnecessary triggers and gradual increase in amplitude

Weakness in the reality;

Rightness in the wrong;

Believing in the non-existent; believing in the lies.

Deception is hell.

A form of psychedelia.

Be vigilant.

Fight against all odds.

Believe.

Anjuna

Is Happiness Attainable?

donireewalker/flickr

Note: this post was first published on Medium

I have been thinking about what the word happiness really means to me. I think it’s a misnomer, in that the concept of happiness misleads and makes believe that it is attainable consistently when in reality happiness is an expression which frequently fluctuates and is inconsistent. Balancing this happiness within ourselves, if there’s such a thing as consistent balancing act, is a state of mind that many of us find difficult to attain. It is in many cases not attainable as the situation in which we are inevitably has an effect on how happy one can be. Happiness to me is a momentary realization depending on the situation.

Not everyone can remain happy all the time. It is also quite abnormal to not experience a variety of emotions. No one, out of the many people I know, has always been happy or content with their lives. Yet, happiness is the one ‘goal’, ‘aim’, desire that we long to strive for. Maybe the reason that we desire for happiness or say things like “I just want to be happy” is because it is a difficult emotion.

We tend to have various goals in life which can make us happy once the goals are achieved. Sadly, these goals are also momentary. They do not last forever. To consistently do the same thing that makes us happy without thinking of it as a tedious task (once we are used to it) might be the only way to remain happy. However, a lot of research also suggests that learning new things and not doing the same thing repeatedly is key to happiness. This makes me believe that there is no mantra or set principles that we can define that will make us happy – individual happiness also varies on a large scare and an aspect that makes one individual happy might not be effective on another individual.

As much as we believe that we are individually responsible for our happiness this is not true. Society and the environment we live in tremendously impacts on the way we feel. We can choose to ignore things and avoid instances that do not make us happy but we are not in control of the situation around us many times. The place we live in, the partner we choose, the school we go to, the behavior of our colleagues, the people we meet in a cafe, the friends we make, the family we are born into, the childhood experiences we have inevitably have an effect on our emotions – although we can choose to control our emotions, most of the times it is a reaction to the life we surround ourselves with.

I therefore find it challenging to be happy. I am satisfied with myself, yes. But happiness although related is not the same as it is an everlasting desire that we need ‘to achieve’ most of the times.

Living for Today

This poem by Christina Georgina Rossetti really strikes a chord with me. A friend sent me this poem on Facebook telling me to “live life today” and it made me think…..

A Daughter of Eve

A fool I was to sleep at noon,
And wake when night is chilly
Beneath the comfortless cold moon;
A fool to pluck my rose too soon,
A fool to snap my lily.

My garden-plot I have not kept;
Faded and all-forsaken,
I weep as I have never wept:
Oh it was summer when I slept,
It’s winter now I waken.

Talk what you please of future spring
And sun-warm’d sweet to-morrow:
Stripp’d bare of hope and everything,
No more to laugh, no more to sing,
I sit alone with sorrow.

There are many themes which can be attributed to this poem – including time, patience, love, anxiety and many more. When we do not make the most of the moment in which we are living – like NOW – then time really starts to fall behind us and there is no way to relive the moments just lost.

Living in the future or the past will not help the present. It is what we make of NOW that really matters.

I hate to break it to you but I haven’t made the most of the time I have had. I wish I did. I wish I knew how much each moment means because then I would grab each and every opportunity I had. But one of the beautiful thing about life is it is unpredictable and destiny seems to have it’s own way of reminding us to take the path we are destined to take.

I hope we can all make the most of today and the moments we have. Living for the now and here rather than for anything else